Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Therapist: 'How do you feel about monopolizing the session?' Me: 'Guilty, but also oddly accomplished. 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️' Remember, it's called 'therapy,' not 'them-apy' for a reason! 😆 #SelfCenteredAndProud"

conversation, feeling, guilt, guilty, humor, myself, personal, reflection, self, session, taking, talking, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

0

2 months ago

commitment, comparison, humor, love, people, relationship, stay, time, toilet
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

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2 months ago

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things
Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

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2 months ago

communication, email, humor, management, meeting, meetings, minutes, office, productivity, time, time management, workplace, wrapped, year
I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

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2 months ago

consumption, couple, days, dish, food, humor, i, last, mayo, much, potato, potato salad, salad, side, side dish, summer, sweating
I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

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2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, drink, humor, i, jittery, me, people, personality, picture
There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

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2 months ago

bots, here, humor, internet, joke, online, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, technology, wars

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

33 shares on Threads this month:

The future is buffering.

65 shares on Discord this month:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

76 shares on X this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Going viral on Reddit:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Just landed via Threads:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Shared recently on Facebook:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Seen just now on X:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Breaking via WeChat:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨