Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,558

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Breaking via X:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Just landed via Messenger:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Just landed via Telegram:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Making waves on Threads:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Spreading quickly via X:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Trending via Twitch:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Food gives you energy to nap more.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a workout plan I can chew on! 🥐💤 #NapOlympics"

energy, food, humor, humor quote, nap, relaxation, rest

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

0

2 months ago

anything, apparently, communication, culture, guys, hear, humor, internet, internet culture, media, online, say, social, social media
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

0

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

0

4 months ago

confirmation, digital, digital transaction, funny question, media, money, payment, payment confirmation, play, question, screenshot, social, social media, sure, too, transaction, trust
I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

0

2 months ago

baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, Joseph, just, life, looking, man, Mary, men, modern, modern life, Nativity, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
Imagine being social on social media.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, humor, imagine, interaction, irony, media, online, online interaction, social, social media
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Threads this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

88 shares on Reddit this month:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Live now on Pinterest:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Going viral on Discord:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Live now on Slack:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Freshly posted on X:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Imagine being social on social media.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨