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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Spotted on Twitch:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Breaking via Twitch:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Just landed via YouTube:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎁💝 "This Valentine's Day, giving your partner a shirt they haven't worn in years is the ultimate power move! It's not just recycling, it's a thoughtful reminder of their fashion choices. Who knew re-gifting could be so romantic? Double the thought, double the love! ❤️😆"

creativity, day, gift, humor, husband, i, present, relationship, shirt, thought, twice, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

78 shares on Threads this month:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

54 shares on Threads this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

57 shares on X this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Live now on WeChat:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Spotted on Threads:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Shared recently on Threads:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Spotted on Messenger:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Going viral on WeChat:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

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