Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Freshly posted on Slack:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Breaking via Slack:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Trending via Facebook:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hydration and low-key nation has never sounded so refreshing! 💧🙃🕶️

advice, business, drink, friendly, humor, mind, reminder, water, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, comedy, drive, fitness, gym, hit, humor, i, laziness, motivation, only, procrastination, workout
Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

0

2 months ago

apologize, car, driving, hit, humor, i, personality, personification, pothole, sometimes, vehicle
Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

0

2 months ago

back, being, comparison, dating, dot, Facebook, hot, Hot or Not, humor, interaction, just, media, nostalgia, online, online interaction, should, social, social media
I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

0

2 months ago

baby, childhood, downhill, humor, i, self-deprecation, ugly, ugly baby
I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

0

2 months ago

am, exercise, fitness, humor, i, ID, Jesus, life, motivation, out of shape, right, run, shape, someone, today
Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

0

2 months ago

expression, freedom, freedom of speech, humor, idiots, irony, know, society, speech

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on TikTok this month:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

81 shares on Threads this month:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

57 shares on Slack this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Making waves on Reddit:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Breaking via Messenger:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Seen just now on X:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨