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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,768

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Just landed via Messenger:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Shared recently on Threads:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Spotted on Instagram:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Shared recently on Telegram:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Playful quote encouraging hydration and focus, with a witty, lighthearted vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hydration and low-key nation has never sounded so refreshing! 💧🙃🕶️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

55 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

98 shares on Threads this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Going viral on Instagram:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Seen just now on Threads:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Breaking via Instagram:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

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