Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

4,044

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Trending via X:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Just landed via Instagram:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Spotted on Threads:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Trending via Instagram:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Just landed via X:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Just landed via Slack:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

2 months ago

0

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the king – that regal centerpiece of the chessboard, demanding only the finest bodyguard service! 👑♟️ No surprises here, I mean, who in their right mind would want their ruler to break into a cold sweat during a game of strategic warfare? Checkmate anxiety, anyone? 😂 #RoyalPriorities"

chess, feel, game, humor, i, king, let, never, safety, strategy, too, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

0

1 month ago

communication, confidence, God, humor, information, people, relationship, sex, sex god, tell, want
Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

0

1 month ago

absurdity, colonel, feel, group, group psychosis, humor, language, linguistics, pronunciation, psychosis, word
If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

0

2 months ago

better, car, date, food, food truck, humor, impress, me, preference, truck, vehicle, want
I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

0

1 month ago

confusion, construction, humor, i, know, next, next steps, questions, steps, understand, understanding
Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

0

1 month ago

great, imagine, just, life, pizza, skinny
I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

0

6 days ago

appear, best, buy, finding, humor, irony, item, learned, lesson, life, life lesson, lost, lost item, problem, problem-solving, replacement, solving, something, spontaneous

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

86 shares on X this month:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

92 shares on X this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,602

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Just landed via Facebook:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Making waves on Reddit:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Making waves on X:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Spotted on Threads:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Going viral on Twitch:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

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