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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

12 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Spotted on Reddit:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Making waves on WeChat:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Reported on LinkedIn:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Shared recently on Discord:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Trending via Telegram:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Going viral on YouTube:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

5 months ago

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the king – that regal centerpiece of the chessboard, demanding only the finest bodyguard service! 👑♟️ No surprises here, I mean, who in their right mind would want their ruler to break into a cold sweat during a game of strategic warfare? Checkmate anxiety, anyone? 😂 #RoyalPriorities"

chess, feel, game, humor, i, king, let, never, safety, strategy, too, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : If you breakdance you buy dance.
4 months ago
Share → : Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.
6 months ago
Share → : Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.
6 months ago
Share → : My parents think they know me.
6 months ago
Share → : Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.
6 months ago
Share → : For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.
5 months ago
Share → : Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.
5 months ago
Share → : Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

12 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Going viral on X:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Just shared via Snapchat:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

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