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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

25 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Just shared via Snapchat:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Just landed via Reddit:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Just shared via X:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Making waves on Facebook:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

5 months ago

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the king – that regal centerpiece of the chessboard, demanding only the finest bodyguard service! 👑♟️ No surprises here, I mean, who in their right mind would want their ruler to break into a cold sweat during a game of strategic warfare? Checkmate anxiety, anyone? 😂 #RoyalPriorities"

chess, feel, game, humor, i, king, let, never, safety, strategy, too, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

25 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Going viral on YouTube:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Making waves on Instagram:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Just landed via Messenger:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just shared via X:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

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