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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Going viral on Messenger:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Trending via Telegram:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Going viral on YouTube:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Trending via Facebook:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Going viral on Threads:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Just shared via Messenger:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Trending via Facebook:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Funny adulthood challenges quotes

New funny adulthood challenges quotes 👇

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

3 days ago

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All funny adulthood challenges quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

80 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

85 shares on Slack this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Spotted on WeChat:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Making waves on YouTube:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Going viral on WeChat:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Just landed via Slack:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Breaking via YouTube:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

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Activity Log ✨

Funny adulthood challenges quotes

New funny adulthood challenges quotes 👇

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

All funny adulthood challenges quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨