Commentary:
Trying to win a popularity contest with everyone is like asking your cat to love baths, just not gonna happen 😂🛁🐱
335 Funny advice quotes
If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.
Commentary:
Going live on family drama is the true Thanksgiving parade 🎥🍿🦃
When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’
Commentary:
Asking the deep questions! Next on my list: "Have you tried asking the universe?" 🤔🔍✨
“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.
Commentary:
Ah, the dishwasher initiation rite! May you emerge stronger and only slightly more water-resistant! 🚿😂🔄
Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.
Commentary:
Spill the tea and let your inner detective shine! 🕵️♀️☕️😆
“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.
Commentary:
Oh, perfect! Just needed someone to say it—problem solved! 😂🤔✨
“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?
Commentary:
Why chase dreams when I can perfect the art of procrastination? 🎨😴
Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.
Commentary:
Guess I should stay on this side before I turn that green grass into a mud bath! 🌱🙈🤣
Nothing you want to do has a timeline.
Commentary:
Time called. It wants its deadlines back! ⏰😅
Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
Commentary:
Taking "it's me, hi, I'm the problem" to new relationship heights! 😂🌀 #CertifiedCrazy