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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Spotted on Discord:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

Spreading quickly via X:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Breaking via YouTube:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Seen just now on Slack:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Breaking via TikTok:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Funny affairs quotes

Funny affairs quotes bring a cheeky twist to the serious side of love and betrayal 💔😂. They turn awkward moments into laugh-out-loud stories, reminding us that sometimes humor is the best way to cope 🙃💬. Whether you’re here for a giggle or a wink, these playful lines add spice to the drama 🍿🔥. Get ready to smile, smirk, and maybe even snort—because love’s messy, but laughter makes it better! 😜❤️

New funny affairs quotes 👇

All funny affairs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

86 shares on Slack this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

59 shares on X this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

74 shares on Reddit this month:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

48 shares on Slack this month:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Making waves on Telegram:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Just landed via Slack:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Breaking via Pinterest:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Spotted on YouTube:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

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