Funny quotes apple

22 Funny apple quotes

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

6 days ago

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

2 weeks ago

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

1 month ago

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

1 month ago

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

1 month ago

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

2 months ago

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

3 months ago

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

3 months ago

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

3 months ago

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

3 months ago

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

3 months ago

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

3 months ago

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

3 months ago

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

3 months ago

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

3 months ago

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

3 months ago

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

3 months ago

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

3 months ago

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

3 months ago

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

3 months ago