36 Funny apple quotes

• “I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

  ---

  0

  3 weeks ago

  apple, Apple Music, called, consumerism, disgusted, ethical, ethical consumerism, fair, fair trade, humor, i, mom-and-pop, music, music platform, platform, sarcasm, service, Spotify, still, streaming, streaming service, trade

• Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  apple, apples, bad, blueberry, delicious, disgusting, Doritos, every, food, food humor, fruit, great, humor, inconsistency, know, problem, same, snack, sometimes, taste, time

• Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, coder, humor, jobs, just, prompt, steve, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, technology, vibe, wozniak

• They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, avoidance, away, day, doctor, eat, eating, everyone, food, health, humor, i, interaction, joke, keep, keeps, need, say, social, social interaction

• Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game

• We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, cheer, Disney, fairy, fairy tale, greed, greedy, humor, need, parody, poison, poison apple, princess, profiteer, satire, tale

• Women are like apples; I like biting them.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, apples, biting, flirt, humor, i, joke, playful, teasing, women

• I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, apples, berry, humor, i, imagination, imagine, just, second, size, wish

• One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, apples, doctor, downside, eating, food, give, humor, marriage

• I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, died, dog, ex, featured, featured photo, guy, humor, job, photo, photos, sure, technology

All funny apple quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌