Funny quotes apple

20 Funny apple quotes

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Funny Quotes Feb 8, 2025

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025