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Ever tried garlic for breakfast? Guaranteed social distancing 😂🧄🚶♂️
39 Funny apple quotes
Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.
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Horsin' around with a buzz and some virtual apples—it's cheaper than therapy! 🍺🐴🍎
We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.
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When a Disney princess takes an MBA: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the richest of them all?" 🍎💰👑
Women are like apples; I like biting them.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's looking for a 'core' relationship! 🍎😂"
I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.
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Oh, the berry-sized possibilities! 🍓🍏 Can you picture grabbing a giant blueberry or a massive strawberry? Snack attacks would never be the same—talk about nature’s own fruit basket! 😂🍇🍎 Just be careful, or you might find yourself in a fruit-fueled "peckish" dilemma! 😅🌱
One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.
Commentary:
"Who knew 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' actually meant you couldn't enjoy them with your doctor spouse anymore? 🍎👩⚕️ #ForbiddenFruit"
I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone at Apple has a cruel sense of humor 🙈📱 Keeping you in check with a sneaky sprinkle of nostalgia and heartbreak one featured photo at a time! 🐕💔😂 #ApplePranks"
All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.
Commentary:
🍎🌎🤔 "Imagine causing millennia of suffering and chaos just by taking a bite out of an innocent apple! 🤷♂️ Who knew fruits could have such dramatic consequences? 🙈 Maybe next time, stick to bananas or strawberries to avoid all this trouble! 😆"
How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.
