Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Just shared via Reddit:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Shared recently on Discord:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

98 shares on X this month:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

86 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Trending via X:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Shared recently on Discord:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Going viral on Telegram:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

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