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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Making waves on WeChat:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Just landed via Instagram:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Trending via TikTok:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Broadcasted on Threads:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Trending via Snapchat:

All I think about is death and sex.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Twitch this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

40 shares on X this month:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

39 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Just shared via YouTube:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Live now on Telegram:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Making waves on Messenger:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Making waves on YouTube:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Going viral on Discord:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

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