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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Going viral on YouTube:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Just landed via X:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Just landed via WeChat:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Shared recently on Discord:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Just shared via Twitch:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Funny beam quotes

New funny beam quotes 👇

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

1 day ago

beam, goal, humor, light, new, new year, powerful, resolution, year

All funny beam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

29 shares on X this month:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Trending via Messenger:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Just shared via Messenger:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Trending via WeChat:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Freshly posted on X:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Seen just now on WeChat:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny beam quotes

New funny beam quotes 👇

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

All funny beam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨