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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Just landed via Slack:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Breaking via X:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Trending via Snapchat:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Making waves on Messenger:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Trending via Facebook:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Shared recently on Twitch:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Breaking via YouTube:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Reported on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Reported on Snapchat:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Reported on YouTube:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Making waves on Facebook:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

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