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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Just landed via YouTube:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Making waves on Facebook:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Just shared via Messenger:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Going viral on Twitch:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Making waves on Messenger:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Spotted on TikTok:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Going viral on YouTube:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just shared via Messenger:

The government even made aliens boring.

Shared recently on Threads:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

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