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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Live now on Slack:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Making waves on Instagram:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Live now on LinkedIn:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Spotted on Twitch:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Spreading quickly via X:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

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