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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Going viral on Slack:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Seen just now on WeChat:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

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Funny better you than me quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Just shared via Reddit:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Breaking via Instagram:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

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