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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Breaking via Twitch:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Just landed via TikTok:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Spotted on TikTok:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Spotted on Pinterest:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Just shared via Discord:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Making waves on Facebook:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Home » Funny Birth Preparation Quotes

Funny birth preparation quotes

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All funny birth preparation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Breaking via Discord:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Going viral on Discord:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Making waves on X:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

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