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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Making waves on WeChat:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Just landed via Instagram:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Trending via Reddit:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Making waves on YouTube:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Just shared via Messenger:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Live now on Snapchat:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

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