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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2039 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,201

Funny Quotes Topics

14,955

Funny Quotes Images

12,201

Updated

8 seconds ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Live now on Slack:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Just shared via X:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Live now on Messenger:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Live now on Instagram:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2039 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,201

Funny Quotes Topics

14,955

Funny Quotes Images

12,201

Updated

8 seconds ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Trending via Instagram:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Just landed via X:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Live now on Threads:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Just landed via X:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Shared recently on Twitch:

In banana years, I am bread.

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