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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Breaking via Slack:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Making waves on Messenger:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Making waves on Instagram:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Making waves on X:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Funny British food quotes

New funny British food quotes 👇

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

0

2 months ago

British, British food, culture, food, grateful, gratitude, gross, humor, independence, joke, taste

Someone from 🇩🇲 has recently bookmarked this quote.

44 shares on Threads this month.

All funny British food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Just shared via WeChat:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Freshly posted on X:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Just shared via Telegram:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Seen just now on Slack:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Freshly posted on X:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny British food quotes

New funny British food quotes 👇

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

All funny British food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨