Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Just landed via X:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Going viral on Slack:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Just landed via Facebook:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via X:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Making waves on X:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Funny bruschetta quotes

New funny bruschetta quotes 👇

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

2 weeks ago

20, bruschetta, cooking, culinary, delicious, eating, food, humor, mess, percentages, snack

All funny bruschetta quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

79 shares on X this month:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Making waves on Discord:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Just landed via Threads:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Spotted on X:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Live now on Twitch:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Shared recently on WeChat:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Just shared via Slack:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny bruschetta quotes

New funny bruschetta quotes 👇

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

All funny bruschetta quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨