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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Just landed via Telegram:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Spotted on Slack:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Just landed via YouTube:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Breaking via Discord:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Just landed via Threads:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Meow means woof in cat.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

80 shares on X this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Just shared via X:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Trending via Pinterest:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Breaking via Discord:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Spotted on Threads:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Just shared via Telegram:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

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