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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Spotted on Reddit:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Live now on Discord:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Freshly posted on X:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Making waves on TikTok:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

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New funny buffalo quotes 👇

All funny buffalo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Breaking via Slack:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Spotted on X:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Just landed via Instagram:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Going viral on X:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Just shared via TikTok:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

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