Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Making waves on TikTok:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Trending via Telegram:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Making waves on Slack:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Funny buffalo quotes

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New funny buffalo quotes 👇

All funny buffalo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

28 shares on X this month:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

54 shares on X this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Broadcasted on X:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Just landed via Messenger:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Making waves on WeChat:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Spotted on Facebook:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Breaking via Instagram:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Making waves on Telegram:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

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