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procrastination

self-deprecation

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Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

3 months ago

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A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon. - 47 shares on Facebook this week.
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My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband. - 93 shares on WeChat this week.
I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater. - 88 shares on Threads this week.

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8,672 funny quotes and pics

11,818 funny quotes topics

Updated: 58 minutes ago

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Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong. - 12 folks are currently viewing this quote.
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory. - 19 folks are currently viewing this quote.
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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need never parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm self-deprecation sleep social someone technology think time want work

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