Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Just shared via Instagram:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Shared recently on Discord:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Just shared via Threads:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Funny Carrie Bradshaw quotes

New funny Carrie Bradshaw quotes 👇

All funny Carrie Bradshaw quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am cassette tape years old.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

44 shares on Discord this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Breaking via Telegram:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Trending via Slack:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Just shared via Slack:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Just landed via Reddit:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Breaking via Threads:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Broadcasted on X:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Just shared via Reddit:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Live now on Facebook:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

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