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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Spotted on Instagram:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Spotted on Facebook:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Breaking via WeChat:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Going viral on Twitch:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Seen just now on Discord:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

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Funny cashew quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Reported on Messenger:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Just shared via Reddit:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Just shared via Threads:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Trending via WeChat:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Live now on Instagram:

A selfie only a mother could like.

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