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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Shared recently on X:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Reported on TikTok:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Just landed via Threads:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Trending via Threads:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Reported on Discord:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Never trust a wet fart.

Just shared via YouTube:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Just shared via Discord:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Spotted on X:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Trending via Slack:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Making waves on Telegram:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Breaking via Threads:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Making waves on YouTube:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Spreading quickly via X:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

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