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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Live now on Slack:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Just landed via Slack:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Going viral on Twitch:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Going viral on Instagram:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Freshly posted on Slack:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Funny childhood nostalgia quotes

New funny childhood nostalgia quotes 👇

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

3 weeks ago

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty

All funny childhood nostalgia quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Starting a new life today, bye.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Trending via YouTube:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Netflix & by yourself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Trending via Messenger:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Just landed via Twitch:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny childhood nostalgia quotes

New funny childhood nostalgia quotes 👇

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

All funny childhood nostalgia quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨