Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Going viral on X:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Telegram this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

80 shares on X this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

60 shares on Discord this month:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

61 shares on X this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Seen just now on TikTok:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Trending via Snapchat:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Just shared via X:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Live now on Facebook:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

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