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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,752

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Going viral on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Going bananas on TikTok:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Trending via YouTube:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Spotted on Twitch:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Going viral on Threads:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Going viral on Threads:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Seen just now on Slack:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Funny confidentiality quotes

Funny confidentiality quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of secrets 🤫😂. Whether you’re guarding gossip or office drama, these witty lines remind us that keeping things under wraps can be both tricky and entertaining 🤐💬. Get ready to laugh while respecting the fine art of hush-hush! Perfect for sharing with friends who love a good chuckle about what stays behind closed doors 🔒🤣.

New funny confidentiality quotes 👇

All funny confidentiality quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Live now on YouTube:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Shared recently on TikTok:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spotted on TikTok:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Just shared via TikTok:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

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