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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going viral on Twitch:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

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11 Funny consumerism quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Making waves on WeChat:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Trending via Pinterest:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Making waves on Twitch:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Spotted on YouTube:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Seen just now on Slack:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Shared recently on X:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

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