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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Making waves on TikTok:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Trending via X:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Seen just now on X:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Shared recently on X:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Reported on Messenger:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Reported on WeChat:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Seen just now on Slack:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Spotted on Twitch:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Just shared via X:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Making waves on Discord:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Making waves on Threads:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Just shared via X:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

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