Funny crime genre quotes

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

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Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

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Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

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People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

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When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.