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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Going viral on Facebook:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Going viral on Instagram:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Time needs a speed limit.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

55 shares on Discord this month:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

55 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Breaking via YouTube:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Seen just now on X:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Seen just now on Threads:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Live now on Threads:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

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