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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Going viral on X:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Trending via Discord:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Just landed via Telegram:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Spotted on Reddit:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Live now on Instagram:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

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