Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Just landed via YouTube:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Spotted on Twitch:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Funny derail quotes

New funny derail quotes 👇

All funny derail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Spotted on Instagram:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Breaking via Telegram:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Going viral on Threads:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Making waves on Slack:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

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