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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Just shared via Instagram:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Going viral on Slack:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Spotted on Messenger:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Reported on YouTube:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Breaking via Instagram:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Breaking via Facebook:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Just shared via Slack:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Spotted on Threads:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just landed via Messenger:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

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