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Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,019

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Spotted on Slack:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Spotted on Discord:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Just shared via Facebook:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Live now on Reddit:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My life coach traded me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Home » Funny Dinner Table Quotes

Funny dinner table quotes

New funny dinner table quotes 👇

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

0

4 weeks ago

attack, bolt, dinner, dinner table, family, family dinner, funny attack, holiday, holiday meal, lightning, lightning bolt, meal, table, Thanksgiving, uncle

All funny dinner table quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Just landed via TikTok:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Live now on TikTok:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Going viral on TikTok:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Just shared via Messenger:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Spotted on Discord:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny dinner table quotes

New funny dinner table quotes 👇

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

All funny dinner table quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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