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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,993

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,993

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Making waves on Facebook:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Just shared via Threads:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Seen just now on Telegram:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Making waves on Twitch:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Trending via WeChat:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Live now on Instagram:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,993

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,993

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Talents: eating!

Live now on WhatsApp:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Shared recently on X:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Making waves on Reddit:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Reported on WeChat:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Spotted on Telegram:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

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