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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Making waves on Facebook:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Funny divorce lawyer quotes

Funny divorce lawyer quotes bring a much-needed dose of humor to the courtroom chaos 😄⚖️ Whether you’re navigating messy breakups or just love a clever legal twist, these witty lines lighten the mood and remind us that even tough times can be met with a smile 😎💼 Ready to laugh through the legal drama? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes from the world of divorce law! 😂📜

New funny divorce lawyer quotes 👇

All funny divorce lawyer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

35 shares on Slack this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Making waves on X:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Freshly posted on X:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Trending via Threads:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Live now on TikTok:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Going viral on Messenger:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Trending via Instagram:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

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