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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,768

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Live now on Slack:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Trending via Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have a yearning disability.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Making waves on Threads:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Making waves on Threads:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Just landed via Messenger:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Just landed via Reddit:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Funny drone quotes

New funny drone quotes 👇

All funny drone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

39 shares on Discord this month:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Just shared via TikTok:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Making waves on YouTube:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Making waves on Reddit:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

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