Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Just shared via Messenger:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Spotted on Messenger:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Trending via Messenger:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Funny E.T. quotes

Funny E.T. quotes 🚀👽 bring a cosmic dose of laughter from everyone’s favorite alien! Whether you’re a fan of his iconic “phone home” moments or just love quirky extraterrestrial humor, these lines are sure to make you smile 😄✨. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding some out-of-this-world fun to your day! Ready to beam up some giggles? Let’s dive into the funniest E.T. moments! 🌟📞

New funny E.T. quotes 👇

All funny E.T. quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Threads this month:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

10 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

90 shares on Messenger this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Trending via X:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Spotted on Facebook:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Just landed via Twitch:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

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