Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Reported on TikTok:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Breaking via TikTok:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Shared recently on Discord:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Spotted on YouTube:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Trending via LinkedIn:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Just shared via Discord:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Just shared via Threads:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Just shared via WeChat:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

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