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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Spotted on X:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Making waves on TikTok:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Live now on WhatsApp:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Spotted on Instagram:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Going viral on Facebook:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Trending via Messenger:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Breaking via X:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Reported on X:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Trending via Slack:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Just landed via Twitch:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Going viral on WeChat:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

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