Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Just shared via TikTok:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Just landed via Messenger:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just landed via Threads:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Seen just now on Threads:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Seen just now on Discord:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Funny edition quotes

Funny edition quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and good vibes 🌟 to any day! Whether you’re in need of a quick mood boost or want to share some humor with friends, these witty gems 💬 are here to brighten your feed and keep the giggles rolling 🤣. Get ready for a playful dose of cleverness that’s perfect for all your fun-loving moments! 🎉✨

New funny edition quotes 👇

All funny edition quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

14 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Spreading quickly via X:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Just shared via Slack:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Trending via Twitch:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

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