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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Making waves on Pinterest:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Just landed via Discord:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Going viral on Telegram:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Spotted on Slack:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Making waves on WeChat:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Freshly posted on Slack:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Just landed via X:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

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