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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Trending via Threads:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Breaking via YouTube:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Home » Funny Every Quotes » Page 10

281 Funny every quotes

More funny every quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

…

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the original 'Skip Intro' that no one dared to fast-forward 😂🔍🎥 #VHSNostalgia"
2 months ago
Share →: Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

…

Commentary:
"Me: A walking dictionary, but with Wi-Fi! 😂📚🔍 #WordNinja"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Commentary:
"Five-year plan? I'm more of a 'five-minute snack break' kind of planner! 📝😂🍕"
2 months ago
Share →: There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Commentary:
“Forget the popcorn 🍿, I’ve got the receipts! 📸😂”
2 months ago
Share →: Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Commentary:
"Current status: Professional night owl, world-class morning zombie. 🦉☕😴"
2 months ago
Share →: One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Commentary:
"Sometimes I just want a dinner fairy to appear and say 'Tacos it is!' 🌮✨ #AdultingStruggles #SendHelp"
2 months ago
Share →: A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Commentary:
"Just got my membership card to the Southern Grammar Committee—where 'ya’ll' is a crime against humanity! 😂📝 Bless y'all's hearts! 💔🙌"
2 months ago
Share →: I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Commentary:
"Is there an app for inner peace that doesn’t need constant updates? 😂📵🧘‍♂️"
2 months ago
Share →: Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Commentary:
"After reading up on confirmation bias, I've realized I'm absolutely biased about how biased I am! 🤔😂 #MindBlown #TotallyConfirmed"
2 months ago
Share →: Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Commentary:
"Just a casual reminder: I'm the original copyright holder. 🤓👶 #PatentPending"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

281 Funny every quotes

More funny every quotes 👇

For even more funny every quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny every quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

The future is buffering.

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

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