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When you're in the group chat just for the background noise 🎻😂📴
395 Funny every quotes
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.
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So you're at the age where knowing tomorrow's weather is more exciting than tomorrow's party forecast? 🌦️📰😂
I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.
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When your art skills are top tier, but only on your clothes! 🎨👕😂
Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.
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Imagine everyone walking around with rainbow eyes from allergy season! 🌈👀😆
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.
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Always on the lookout for life's unexpected appetizers! 🍕👀🍔
One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.
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Working full-time and booking appointments feels like trying to find a unicorn! 🦄💼⏰
Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.
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Proof that even strong women can't shake their loyal bathroom buddies 🐾🚪🤣
Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.
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Running away from responsibilities: the only cardio routine that requires zero commitment! 🏃♂️💨🙃
How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?
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Seems like they must have a really big font for "#1" on that list! 📚😂 #BestSellerMagic
If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.
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I'm no math whiz, but even I know that's a lot of failed tests! 📚🤓💸