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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Making waves on WeChat:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Going viral on TikTok:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Trending via Twitch:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Shared recently on Threads:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Trending via Threads:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Just landed via TikTok:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Spotted on Facebook:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Just shared via Telegram:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Live now on Snapchat:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

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