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Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Just landed via Facebook:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Seen just now on Threads:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

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31 Funny example quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on TikTok this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

44 shares on Threads this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Going viral on YouTube:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Spotted on X:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Seen just now on Facebook:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

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31 Funny example quotes

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Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

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